Power and light
A while ago a dream came true for me. Actually it was quite a new dream, but already rooted and engraved deep in my core. I finally, finally experienced the yoga and nature retreat my co-partner Martina and I organized. Weekends like this were already meant to take place in winter and spring, but we had to cancel them due to different reasons. Determination grew inside of me and I knew that I wouldn't let this "failure" bring me down, because I felt deeply that those retreats are part of what I want to do with my time, my energy and my knowledge.
This time wasn't easy either and our yoga and smudging weekend was time and again on the verge of failing. But I'm so grateful that we decided to do the weekend nonetheless, with a small group of people, as it turned out to be exactly right this way. We were a small, intimate bunch. Each of us coming with her own story, her own baggage and we would offer the space, so that everyone was able to dive deep and connect with themselves.
It's interesting how life turns out. If someone had shown me my current life two years ago, I probably wouldn't have recognized myself at first sight. I am a yoga teacher? I am turning my spirituality into my job? I am learning so much in such a short amount of time that I can even teach other people? I am this woman walking barefoot through the forest? And even though this image probably would have surprised me at first, I believe that my true inner self would have remembered and recognized this future version of herself. It would have known, and still does, that I am a multi-layered being, that there's so much more here than I think and that I don't want to just walk one path.
We human beings limit ourselves so often, stuck in the person we think we have to be. As if we can't change, evolve, re-invent ourselves. That's how I feel every now and again. I'm making myself small and throw all these critical questions at me: Am I allowed to teach about plants although I don't have a degree in it? Am I allowed to be a yoga teacher although my diploma is fairly new? Am I allowed to earn money with all these things I whole-heartedly enjoy doing although I'm actually educated as a primary teacher?
We all drew a card on this nature weekend, a card with a plant on it that would accompany us through these two days. Though it probably weren't us who picked the plant, but the plant who picked us. As all of our plantfriends fit our individual topics so well. I was chosen by the angelica. And while meditating with her I received the message that I shouldn't keep myself small anymore, but to honor my power and to bring my light into the world. Thanks to her and that weekend I was allowed to grow tall and in this moment, typing these words, - knowing perfectly well that this might change again very quickly - I stand tall advocating for myself and for my chosen professions, not minding diplomas and authorization.
Perhaps the angelica also chose me so that I can tell you: Go for your dreams! Don't wait any longer for the perfect time, it won't come. Don't dim your light, because what you have to offer is unique. Recognize your power and carry it out into the world, we need you!
To end this post I would like to share a few impressions of our retreat and if you were part of it: another huge thank you!