Words for a tree
You keep me grounded when I drown in the stream of my tears.
You hold me tight when my mental wounds are wide open.
You warm me when the cold inside me is spreading.
And you enfold me and whisper bird songs and branch poems in my ear:
"You are safe here. You are protected, my child."
When I wander through the snowy landscape, something in me awakens. I'm standing in the woods and I am enchanted. For particles of crystal glisten on the blanket of snow and it's as if their only job is to delight me. They sparkle in the air for minutes after snow falls from a branch of a fir tree. In the distance the stream murmurs, fairly alive, although it's covered in crystal white.
It's the little child that used to believe in dolphin magic and drew fairies for hours on end that awakens and I notice that it actually never really left. I just neglected it in the process of growing up, perhaps I even forgot about it. But now it's here again. I can feel it each time I strap on my snow shoes and start walking. It breathes loudly, complains when it gets too strenuous, talks to itself, cheers through the valley and cries because it's scared or sad. But then it guides me towards a tree and I sit at its trunk and fall into its arms.
I ask myself if maybe generations back my great-grandmother or someone else from my family used to lean against this tree, too and if a part of them is still ensouling this environment and maybe that is what I can feel now as something comforting?
Maybe I'm just imagining these things, but I like the thought of it. Each tree could be the home of one of my ancestors and when I prowled amongst them on one of my walks and a leaf touched me, I would know that I was greeted for example by my great-great-great-grandmother Maria Barbara.
I'm glad that I get to meet my inner child again. It happens to bring me lots of beautiful moments and invigorates my creativity. Besides it's a loyal companion and we have a lot of fun, but also dive deep together. It shows me the enchantment that lies in this season and I, the summer child, suddenly become a winter child, too and almost mourn a little bit every time I hear the snow dripping from the roof.
In this post I actually wanted to write about my move and arriving here, because a small movie about that is following, but apparently the words and feelings above wanted to be written today and at the moment my inner child is the boss around here. But now I want to turn back the time with you all, because I worked on a video story that should give you a small glimpse on my move and my new home. Enjoy! =)
Funny story: the sofa you see my sister moving into the van, is actually not mine and I only noticed while unloading. By no stretch of imagination could we remember on moving day who loaded the sofa into the truck nor where it came from and I almost had sleepless nights because of that riddle. For my little movie I just recently went though my footage and noticed that I in fact filmed this exact scene. Anyways, it now sits in the stable and if someone is looking for these parts of the couch, message me! ;-)
February 15th, 2021
